It's where horror gets BENT…
Podcast
Episode 52: STAKE LAND and THE WOMAN IN BLACK
Feb 16, 2012
by Patrick
-
- Singer/Songwriter DONYA LANE
Happy Valentine’s Day, Screamers! February is also Women in Horror Month. Instead of another rehash of MY BLOODY VALENTINE, we’re going to take a listen to music by female artists about ghostly women who haunt the seashores! Classy, right?
Movie wise, we’re putting listener Zombart up against the FIRING SQUAD wall for making us all watch STAKE LAND. Did I enjoy it? Or has Bart left his last 9 minute message? Only time will tell!
And then, we’re going to see if we can untwist the panties of that WOMAN IN BLACK, because….grrrl, she has got some issues!
What can be more romantic than that? Well, a LOT of things I suppose, but who asked YOU anyway?!?
Special thanks to the incredibly talented Miss DONYA LANE for use of “Annabel Lee” off her AMERICAN ROYALTY cd.
(Music for “Annabel Lee” composed by GLENN GORDON)
Play Now:
Episode 51: JULIA’S EYES, GRAVE ENCOUNTERS and WARLOCK
Feb 2, 2012
by Patrick
-
- Special Guest: HOMER MARRS!
My special guest this week is my new “Coolest Person in the Entire World”, the incredibly talented and remarkably woofy HOMER MARRS! He sings, he plays guitar, he writes songs, he does all kinds of comedy, and he smells nice. Mostly he’s hear to share some of his song stylings with us and rap about WARLOCK.
First up, THE CRAPSHOOT returns to let us know if we should watch JULIA’S EYES or just spit in them. Sure, it’s reuniting producer Guillermo Del Toro, director Guillem Morales and THE ORPHANAGE’S star Belén Rueda…but that would makeit even more fun to kick their over-confident culos”
And then Listener Trae has to face the music for recommending that I watch GRAVE ENCOUNTERS. Did he do a Good Thing?….or did he do a Baaaaad Thing? Either way, I’ll probably yell “Fuck you!” at somebody at some point, so you can be assured about that.
And finally, Homer and I chat about WARLOCK, why it was awesome, why it sucked and why it inspired him to right a poignant ballad about its star.
All this and more. God, I could plotz!
Play Now:
Episode 50: THE DEVIL INSIDE, FRIDAY THE 13th PART 3 and THE FAN (1981)
Jan 19, 2012
by Patrick
It’s a huge milestone here at SCREAMQUEENZ, so I’m celebrating for making an ass out of myself for two hours….again.
In this episode, I tell you all about the riot that almost broke out at a screening of THE DEVIL INSIDE. And it wasn’t because Mister Brad did the old “hole in the bottom of the popcorn box”. Well, not this time anyway.
-
- Sleep studies are SCARY.
-
- Is this THE DEVIL INSIDE or my sleep study again???
We had a very unlucky day on the calendar last week, so that means only one thing…It’s time for another installation of the FRIDAY THE 13th SPECTACULARRRR! We’re up to PART THREE in the series, and not only do I reveal what happened when I conned Cousin Susie into taking me on opening night, I also unveil what JASON VOORHEES has in common with ANN B. DAVIS! (Here’s a hint: it’s not meatloaf.)
-
- Careful! Chris WILL be throwin' some bows!
-
- No more POOPING!!!!
-
- Jason's got boobie-squeezin' hands!
And finally, I’m joined by my dear friend (and unofficial Fairy Godmother!) SCOTT the SATYR from the SATYRSPHERE, and we’re gonna dish the dish about what happens when horror meets Broadway musical in 1981′s stinko-slasher THE FAN! The scariest thing is that the songs have been stuck in my head for days now.
-
- Quentin Crisp wants his hat back, Ms. Bacall.
-
- "Pretty...Like, 'back of your teeth ache' pretty." - Scott the Satyr
All this and more when SCREAMQUEENZ shows you that life really does begin at 50! (However, good taste and maturity mercifully still haven’t made an appearance.)
-
- LYSISTRATA JONES says NO! to being a ho!
-
- Eff you, Spielberg. THIS is a WAR HORSE!
-
- Welcome to The Club, my sister!
If your in the Carmel, CA area, check out SCOTT the SATYR live on stage in HAIRSPRAY THE MUSICAL at Pacific Repertory Theater from January 26 through February 19! Get your tickets HERE!
Play Now:
Episode 49: TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD at 42nd Street Drive-In!
Jan 6, 2012
by Patrick
-
- Is that fear, Anderson Cooper, or is it SHAME???
Happy New Year, Screamerz! This week, I’m sitting down with Chris & Shawn from the 42nd Street Drive-In podcast to dish the dish on the 1972 Spanish classic, TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD!
Even though we don’t get into it on the show, this movie actually scared the livin’ crud out of me when I saw it on WPIX-Channel 11′s CHILLER THEATER when I was a tiny waif. Technically, this should be a beast from the NIGHTMARE CLOSET, but nothing’s scarier than Brad’s imitation of these undead Templar nasties.
Especially when he does it nekkid. Yoinks!
Plus, BETTE & DERWOOD, everyone’s favorite brown-nosers call in with reviews of THE SHRINE and DREAM HOME, and then reveal that they’re not the straight-A students they pretend to be. I feel a spanking coming on!
And finally, the GREEN GOBLIN/TIMES SQUARE TAKEOVER gets shredded, AMERICAN HORROR STORY gets schooled, THE WALKING DEAD get reamed and then….a listener is going to get publicly and merciless thrashed on this episode.
Is it YOU???
*ominous thunderclap, howling wolf, maniacal laughter, silent queef*
Play Now:
Episode 48: THE SHRINE and D4
Dec 23, 2011
by Patrick
-
- Oh, Aaron! Lose the chicks. I've got a shrine to show you!
This week, SCREAMQUEENZ celebrates the holidays the traditional way…with human sacrifice, crazed genetic mutations and potty mouth!
The Crapshoot returns to take a peek at what’s inside THE SHRINE. Will I live long enough to regret it tasting forbidden fruit, or will I just regret watching the damn movie?
And then, our main feature is another flick from HORRORHOUND WEEKEND called D4, which tells the beloved Yuletide tale of gruff mercenaries getting eviscerated by a musclebound monster in a forbidden forest. Just imagine The Grinch not saving Christmas, but clobbering Cindy Lou Who to a syrupy pulp with that tree he lugged down the chimney (which is the ending we all wanted anyway, right?)
So, jingle your balls, egg your nog, and stroke your Yulelog…It’s Christmas at ScreamQueenz HeadQuarters!
Get your copy of D4 for just $10 at www.GHOSTWATER.com!
-
- CHRISTOPHER NOFFKE as Cupid, one seriously gay reindeer.
-
- TREVOR MATTHEWS - Blond. Goateed. Shirtless. Sizzle!
-
- TYLER HOLDEN as Comet....That reindeer will cut a bitch.
Play Now:
Episode 47: HORRORHOUND WEEKEND Cincinnati
Dec 8, 2011
by Patrick
-
- Me & Robert R Best
-
- Me & Brian the "Big Gay Horror Fan"
Episode 47:
It’s time, Screamerz, for me to try to tackle at least some of the excitement and debauchery that beset the quiet suburb of Sharonville the weekend of November 17.
And what fun would it be to do it alone! I’ll be joined by two very special guests: both world famous author ROBERT R. BEST and BRIAN from BIG GAY HORROR FAN will be joining me to try to piece together the gaping booze-induced holes in my memory.
And my underwear.
We’ll be dishing the dish on the backwoods slasher DOWN THE ROAD. lighting the fuse on the explosive Argentinian flick COLD SWEAT, and putting on our big boy pants to tackle all the potty humor unleashed in CHILLERAMA!
Make yourself extra comfy, because this is one long mofo of a show.
-
- "Wadzilla" - CHILLERAMA
-
- Some hot werebear meat! - CHILLERAMA
Play Now:
Episode 46: SORRY, WRONG NUMBER
Nov 24, 2011
by Patrick
Episode 46:
Happy Thanksgiving, Screamers!
In addition to this being the nationwide celebration of genocide, smallpox and syphillis, it’s also anniversary time for Brad and I.
So, while we enjoy our stuffing….(pause, pause)… enjoy this trip back to the golden age of radio as gay icon AGNES MOOREHEAD gets something worse than an unwarranted booty call in SORRY, WRONG NUMBER!
We’ll be back with Horrorhound Weekend coverage next week, so have a safe holiday everyone, and just for me, scare the crap out of someone at the dinner table.
Tell ‘em I told ya to!
Play Now:
Episode 45: STEAMPUNK HAUNTED HOUSE and LISTENER HAUNTS
Nov 9, 2011
by Patrick
Episode 45:
This week, we finally get to take a look inside the bizarre goings-on at the STEAMPUNK HAUNTED HOUSE and their twisted spin on “Through the Looking Glass”. Find out who did what to get us barred from Bulgarian nightclubs for life! And finally, clutch your pearls with fear when listeners call in with some of their favorite stories about local haunts.
And you thought Halloween was over! My Grandmama woulda slapped you square in the face, you so stupid.
www.SteampunkHauntedHouse.com
www.AllHallowsRevenge.com
www.TheBatesMotel.com
www.NightOfTerror.com
Horseman’s Hollow
The 13th Gate – Baton Rouge, LA
-
- NOT from the Steampunk Haunted House!
-
- Neither is this.
Play Now:
Episode 44: HALLOWEEN HAUNT-A-LICIOUSNESS
Oct 31, 2011
by Patrick
-
- Special Guest: JENNIFER ELLIOTT
Episode 44:
A Happy Halloween to all you Screamerz! And to celebrate this momentous holiday, we’re taking a look at two of the most notorious New York City haunted house attractions! First, Mister Brad and special guest JENNIFER ELLIOTT join me for a visit to NIGHTMARE: FAIRY TALES. Even The Brothers Grimm weren’t this freaky! And what’s going on with THE EXPERIMENT being conducted upstairs from the house?? And the, I sit down with SCOTT THE SATYR from the SATYRSPHERE Podcast, and I shock him with the kinky thrills looming in the depths of the BLACKOUT HAUNTED HOUSE, and then talk about some of his favorite haunts.
So, gather up your candy, check your buttplugs for razor blades and enjoy the Haunted House Hysteria!
-
- Special Guest: SCOTT the SATYR
Play Now:
DRAMAQUEENZ: Episode 1 – Special Guest Star ALENA ACKER
Oct 26, 2011
by Patrick
In this very special inaugural (ie. test) episode of “DRAMAQUEENZ: The Podcast Where THEATER Gets Bent!“, I am joined by the very lovely and talented ALENA ACKER! Alena plays my wife Bridget Burke in LiveInTheater‘s production of THE RYAN CASE 1873. Plus, she stars in and helped create the award-winning comedy web series MOTHER EVE’S SECRET GARDEN!
I am honored and truly delighted that she stopped by ScreamQueenz Headquarters (SQHQ) to discuss Punchdrunk Theater company’s SLEEP NO MORE.
Now, I know you loyal Screamerz have already heard Mister Brad and I dish the dirt on SLEEP NO MORE, but Alena brings a certain grace and poise (and sobriety) to the conversation that may have been lacking when we squawked through it several months ago.
Also, I was lucky enough to have Elena to allow me to share with you some of the hilarious music from the show she did at the Midtown International Theater Festival this past summer, MOTHER EVE’S SECRET GARDEN OF SENSUAL SISTERHOOD. Even though the show’s closed, the company just recorded a cast album, and I think you’ll get a huge kick out it.
“But, Patrick”, you say. “Why are you covered a show that’s not running anymore?
Very simple.
A) It’s still a successful and hilarious web series that you should be checking out.
B) Cuz my pussy told me so. My pussy told me so.
For more information about SLEEP NO MORE, visit www.SleepNoMoreNYC
Check out more of ALENA and MOTHER EVE at www.MotherEves.com
Play Now:
