It's where horror gets BENT…
Patrick
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Posts by Patrick
Episode 58: THE WITCH’S TALE – “Graveyard Mansion”
May 10, 2012
by Patrick
It’s my birthday, so I’m taking the week off….sort of.
I couldn’t leave you high and dry (or low and moist), so enjoy THE WITCH’S TALE to tide you over until next week!
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Episode 57: MRS. LUMLEY’S MASKS by R.K. Kombrinck
Apr 26, 2012
by Patrick
Being that this is Episode 57, I feel it fitting to adhere to the legacy of Heinz Ketchup’s motto of “57 Varieties“. However, I will modify it slightly to say that this episode is “57 Varieties of All Fucked Up!”
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- R.K. KOMBRINCK (aka "Kelley)
This is the long-awaited reading of MRS. LUMLEY’S MASKS, an original short story by NOTLP‘s beloved KELLEY KOMBRINCK. I’ve had a amazing time putting this together for you, and if you think Kelley’s all cute and cuddly…think again. Well, actually he is cute and cuddly, but he’s also All Fucked Up. I believe that would be Variety #39.
And if you’re clamoring for movie dish, I’ve got the preview scoop on John Cusack‘s THE RAVEN.
Feathers will fly.
Then, I can’t wait to introduce you to our Friend from Line (All Fucked Up Variety # 44), whose physical being (and demeanor) is described on the show as similar to each of the following:
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- Abby Lee Miller from "Dance Moms"
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- A Troll from "Troll"
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- Trash Lady from "Labyrinth"
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- The Trash Heap from "Fraggle Rock"
She’s a peach!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
R.K.Kombrinck is an artist/author from Cincinnati, OH. He lives in a deeply disturbing Suburban dystopia with his wife and two sons. His interest in the horror genre began early and his urge to scare his friends and family soon developed into writer-ly aspirations. His equal interest in drawing led him into exploring storytelling through sequential art where he could pair his two passions.
As an adult he’s continued to plumb the depths of darkness and monstosity through short stories which have been published in several genre anthologies. He is also a founding member of the popular podcast “Night of the Living Podcast” which he uses as a mouthpiece for disseminating his horror-nerd agenda. He loves iced tea (unsweet) and genuinely believes in Sasquatch.
Click here for his official AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE
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Episode 56: SECONDS APART and FRIDAY THE 13th: THE FINAL CHAPTER
Apr 12, 2012
by Patrick
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- Bette & Derwood: BROWN NOSERS!
It’s that most wonderful time of the year!
Well, except if you’re a horny co-ed who stupidly chose to spend spring break at the lakehouse in the woods instead of going boob-shakin’ in Boca Raton, that is.
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- What are you WEARING?!?!?!
That’s right! Another Friday the 13th is upon us, which means it’s time for the next installment of my FRIDAY THE 13th SPECTACULAAAARRRR! This, time we’re I’m tackling the fourth entry, FRIDAY THE 13th: THE FINAL CHAPTER. So, come on, Sara. Strip and dip! Give Teddybear a kiss, and find that goddamned corkscrew, because Jason is in da house!
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- Strange (and sexy!) Bedfellows
And then, The Crapshoot returns to take on a pair of creepy identical twins with evil powers in the AfterDark HorrorFest release SECONDS APART. Did this bad boys double my pleasure like Doublemint gum, or did they leave me with a bad taste in my mouth? (Get your mind out of the gutter, pig!)
All this and some real side excursions into Krazytown, USA await you, so start streaming already. Gaaad!
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Episode 55: THREE SKELETON KEY – Old Time Radio with VINCENT PRICE
Mar 28, 2012
by Patrick
I’m fighting off the flu and laryngitis, so I’ve had to scrap my original plan for the show. Instead we’re firing up the ol’ WayBack Machine to journey once again to the Golden Age of Radio! This time, we’re meeting VINCENT PRICE to spend the night at a creepy, nearly abandoned lighthouse. The only problem is, there are some other guests on the way. Thousands of them. And they’re hungry.
Really hungry!
This week’s classic chiller is called THREE SKELETON KEY and originally aired on the CBS‘s hit show ESCAPE! on March 17, 1950.
Better stock up on some cheese before you listen to this one!
Also, if you missed me in this year’s BIG GAY SING with the NEW YORK CITY GAY MEN’S CHORUS, fear not! Despite my vocal restrictions, I give an account so detailed ans so stirring that you are actually in danger of getting blinded by imaginary sequins!
ALL HAIL THE GAY AGENDA!!!
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Episode 54: LOVE AT FIRST BITE and ATTACK THE BLOCK
Mar 15, 2012
by Patrick
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- Special Guest; JAY EMMITT from "The Takedown Podcast"
It’s been a rough week. I’m depressed. I needed to spend some time talking about a silly movie with a dear old friend. Join me and the oh-so-squeezable JAY EMMITT (formerly of the “Obscure 80′s Podcast”) as we dish the dish about Dracula’s disco dance moves in the 1979 comedy LOVE AT FIRST BITE.
But be careful, Jay! I’m going to backdoor you with a FIRING SQUAD for recommending ATTACK THE BLOCK. Did I love it? Or is little Jay going to become a man before your very ears? Either way…you’ll have a real good time, goddammit!
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Episode 53: CARRIE! CARRIE! CARRIE!
Mar 1, 2012
by Patrick
I don’t care if it’s not prom season yet! This episode is all about CARRIE! CARRIE the book! CARRIE the musical! CARRIE the movie! CARRIE the breakfast cereal!
What? There isn’t a breakfast cereal yet!?!? (note to self…get on that! Should be pork flavored and turn the milk crimson!)
I’m joined by my longtime friend, the nauseatingly talent OWEN ROBERTSON, who proves he’s not actually a figment of my imagination by finally coming on the show to reminisce about the unfortunate young Miss White in all of her many (occasionally ridiculous) incarnations. We also get all serious and shit, pondering why STEPHEN KING‘s first monster has had such a lasting fascination, especially in the gay community.
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- Sissy Spacek is burnin' down the house!
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- Linzi Hately - Broadway 1988
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- Molly Ranson in "Pretty in Pink"?
If you love CARRIE, you’re going to have more fun than giving JOHN TRAVOLTA a big wet talking blowjob in the parking lot! (Well, maybe not that much fun!)
If you don’t love CARRIE, then you eat shit!
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- I still have the original paperback that warped me as a youth.
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Episode 52: STAKE LAND and THE WOMAN IN BLACK
Feb 16, 2012
by Patrick
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- Singer/Songwriter DONYA LANE
Happy Valentine’s Day, Screamers! February is also Women in Horror Month. Instead of another rehash of MY BLOODY VALENTINE, we’re going to take a listen to music by female artists about ghostly women who haunt the seashores! Classy, right?
Movie wise, we’re putting listener Zombart up against the FIRING SQUAD wall for making us all watch STAKE LAND. Did I enjoy it? Or has Bart left his last 9 minute message? Only time will tell!
And then, we’re going to see if we can untwist the panties of that WOMAN IN BLACK, because….grrrl, she has got some issues!
What can be more romantic than that? Well, a LOT of things I suppose, but who asked YOU anyway?!?
Special thanks to the incredibly talented Miss DONYA LANE for use of “Annabel Lee” off her AMERICAN ROYALTY cd.
(Music for “Annabel Lee” composed by GLENN GORDON)
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The Magical Music of HOMER MARRS!
Feb 2, 2012
by Patrick
While sitting down with the incredibly charming HOMER MARRS to record our segment on WARLOCK in Episode 51, I told him I was bound to forget to put links on how to find Homer in the show notes.
Homer promised he would remind me.
I forgot to put links on how to find Homer in the show notes.
Clearly, Homer didn’t remind me.
Clearly, this is all his fault.
Regardless, this is the full video for the main song of his we played on the show, PRAYER FOR JULIAN SANDS
And here he is performing THE VAMPIRE ALPHABET with his partner in crime Natalie Kossar!
…which then segued smoothly into ZOMBIE JAMBOREE.
You can find Homer, Natalie, their delightful comedy songs and also some very naughty sketch comedy too on their YouTube Channel: TurnpikeDown
Remember, he’s working on an EP of his music, so expect major pimpage of that when it drops.
And as if this fuzzy little cubby wasn’t prolific enough, he also writes a humor column appropriately titled MARRS ATTACKS for the Chicago magazine Nightspots.
Episode 51: JULIA’S EYES, GRAVE ENCOUNTERS and WARLOCK
Feb 2, 2012
by Patrick
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- Special Guest: HOMER MARRS!
My special guest this week is my new “Coolest Person in the Entire World”, the incredibly talented and remarkably woofy HOMER MARRS! He sings, he plays guitar, he writes songs, he does all kinds of comedy, and he smells nice. Mostly he’s hear to share some of his song stylings with us and rap about WARLOCK.
First up, THE CRAPSHOOT returns to let us know if we should watch JULIA’S EYES or just spit in them. Sure, it’s reuniting producer Guillermo Del Toro, director Guillem Morales and THE ORPHANAGE’S star Belén Rueda…but that would makeit even more fun to kick their over-confident culos”
And then Listener Trae has to face the music for recommending that I watch GRAVE ENCOUNTERS. Did he do a Good Thing?….or did he do a Baaaaad Thing? Either way, I’ll probably yell “Fuck you!” at somebody at some point, so you can be assured about that.
And finally, Homer and I chat about WARLOCK, why it was awesome, why it sucked and why it inspired him to right a poignant ballad about its star.
All this and more. God, I could plotz!
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Episode 50: THE DEVIL INSIDE, FRIDAY THE 13th PART 3 and THE FAN (1981)
Jan 19, 2012
by Patrick
It’s a huge milestone here at SCREAMQUEENZ, so I’m celebrating for making an ass out of myself for two hours….again.
In this episode, I tell you all about the riot that almost broke out at a screening of THE DEVIL INSIDE. And it wasn’t because Mister Brad did the old “hole in the bottom of the popcorn box”. Well, not this time anyway.
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- Sleep studies are SCARY.
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- Is this THE DEVIL INSIDE or my sleep study again???
We had a very unlucky day on the calendar last week, so that means only one thing…It’s time for another installation of the FRIDAY THE 13th SPECTACULARRRR! We’re up to PART THREE in the series, and not only do I reveal what happened when I conned Cousin Susie into taking me on opening night, I also unveil what JASON VOORHEES has in common with ANN B. DAVIS! (Here’s a hint: it’s not meatloaf.)
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- Careful! Chris WILL be throwin' some bows!
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- No more POOPING!!!!
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- Jason's got boobie-squeezin' hands!
And finally, I’m joined by my dear friend (and unofficial Fairy Godmother!) SCOTT the SATYR from the SATYRSPHERE, and we’re gonna dish the dish about what happens when horror meets Broadway musical in 1981′s stinko-slasher THE FAN! The scariest thing is that the songs have been stuck in my head for days now.
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- Quentin Crisp wants his hat back, Ms. Bacall.
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- "Pretty...Like, 'back of your teeth ache' pretty." - Scott the Satyr
All this and more when SCREAMQUEENZ shows you that life really does begin at 50! (However, good taste and maturity mercifully still haven’t made an appearance.)
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- LYSISTRATA JONES says NO! to being a ho!
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- Eff you, Spielberg. THIS is a WAR HORSE!
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- Welcome to The Club, my sister!
If your in the Carmel, CA area, check out SCOTT the SATYR live on stage in HAIRSPRAY THE MUSICAL at Pacific Repertory Theater from January 26 through February 19! Get your tickets HERE!
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